Tin Can
by Anapholes Mosquito
Summary: Stargate:Atlantis/Dr Who Xover. A Wraith ship is found floating lifelessly in space. On board is a strange artifact..
1. Chapter 1

Elizabeth Weir turned over a piece of amber in her fingers as she talked to Sheppard

Elizabeth Weir turned over a piece of amber in her fingers as she talked to Sheppard.

"John, still no signs of life?"

There was a radio crackle and the laconic voice said;

"Nope, just as quiet and dull as it's been for the last, oh, one hour and thirty seven minutes. Let me.."

"Wait until the second hour, John, like we agreed."

"I have an idea."

Dr Weir turned her head to one side. Sheppard's ideas were usually worth listening too, if not always worth acting on.

"Go ahead."

"I come out of stealth mode for a couple of minutes. If they launch Darts, then we know everything's OK in Wraith world…"

"John.."

"Look, I go straight back into stealth mode and I'm out of here. First sign, I promise."

Elizabeth looked at the fly trapped in the amber and held the gem to her mouth. She looked towards McKay, who shrugged.

"Ok. The moment you see.."

"Yeah, yeah. Sheppard out."

The ship had appeared on long distance scanners yesterday. It was moving extremely slowly, really nothing more than inertia causing it to move at all. A collective breath had been held for an hour or two while they waited to see if it passed on or, more ominously, was joined by another Wraith Cruiser.

When it was not joined by another craft and it was obviously just sitting there watching, McKay had suggested that they go and watch it back. As action, of any sort, seemed preferable to the oppressive sense of waiting for something to happen, Sheppard found himself looking at a, for all intents and purposes, stationary ship which appeared to be doing nothing.

He flicked off the stealth, but left his hands there to reactivate it immediately on seeing a Dart leave the ship, or weapon fire from the Cruiser. He left his hand there until it began to ache. He wished he'd brought someone with him to pass the time, even McKay. Well, maybe not McKay.

He tapped the comm.

"Ok, Elizabeth, that's fifteen minutes since I de-stealthed and still zilch, nada, nothing. I'm going in for a closer look."

He tensed, expecting to have to argue his case and was pleasantly surprised when she gave the go ahead. He nodded a thanks that she couldn't see and told her he would report every 10 minutes.

Sheppard entered stealth mode again, just to be on the safe side and steered the puddle jumper into the main docking bay. Half the compliment of Darts was not here, he noticed. Whether they had left recently or that the Queen of the ship had just not replaced them after an internecine battle with another Wraith Cruiser, he did not know.

The Lieutenant-Colonel held his submachine close to his body as he crept down the dark, living corridors of the ship. It was not long before he came across the first Wraith corpse, one of he big drones he hated so much. Not that he hated any of the other Wraith types any less.

"Elizabeth," he whispered. "I've got a dead Wraith and I can see a couple more dead down the corridor."

McKay's voice came over the comm. Clear and very loud.

"Can you see what they died of, is it obvious?"

"McKay! Mckay, I'm not whispering in case I wake the kids, so hush! No, there aren't any marks on them I can tell. "

He glanced around the corridor.

"Not seeing any sign of weapon fire."

He looked at the corpse. No blood, no bruising as far as he could tell. He shuffled quickly over to the other two bodies and they had no external signs either. They didn't look like they had been fed on either.

"OK, this is weird. I can see another three, no four, corpses to my west and two to my east. Still no sign of weapon damage to anyone or anything."

"Maybe it is a disease."

"Why, thank you, Rodney, for that happy thought."

"No, seriously, do they look sick?"

"Well, they always look kinda pale…"

He could almost hear Rodney taking a moment.

"I mean, blood or mucus around the mouth or nostrils or.. or other bodily fluids that could indicate a pathogen?"

It was moments like this, Sheppard thought, as he turned over the corpses and looked more carefully than his stomach could almost take, he wished he stayed on Earth.

"Nothing I can see."

"You should really get into a bio-suit."

"A little late, Rodney."

"Yes," said the Canadian, "Yes it is. But you probably couldn't catch it anyway, unless…"

Sheppard let that pause hang for a second.

"Unless?"

"Unless it is a disease of the humanoid genetic part of their biology."

"And thanks again, Rodney."

The Cruiser was a morgue. Sheppard made his way to the Queen's chamber and lost count of the corpses. Dozens, scores of Wraith lay littered, limp and lifeless all over the ship. He went to the feeding bays and was glad to find life.

"Sheppard here."

"Yes, John."

"Elizabeth, I have people alive here. I'm going to need you to send Carson and medical team over as soon as I declare this place safe."

"Will do. Still no living Wraith?"

"I'd have let you know."

In truth, although he didn't mourn the loss of this many Wraith, nor did the large amount of dead make him happy. He was trying to concentrate on his surroundings at the same time as trying to think of a scenario that would leave the ship lifeless. The most obvious and likely occurrence was some kind of invasion by another Wraith Cruiser, but if that was the case, why hadn't they taken the ship? Even if it was a pyrrhic victory for the attackers, the other ship would still be around watching its prize until it could be claimed. Something wasn't adding up.

Maybe it _was_ a disease. Sheppard examined himself. He didn't feel sick, except at the thought of being in quarantine for days and days when he got back. His thoughts were interrupted by a sight along the walls.

"Elizabeth. It wasn't disease. I'm seeing physical damage in this corridor, looks like a grenade or two went off here. Corpses are holding weapons too. Big ones."

He slowed down to a crawl, clambering over mounds of corpses as he entered the Queen's Chamber. The heart of the ship. The dead heart. The Queen lay in her chair, dead eyes looking accusingly at Sheppard. He poked her, unconvinced she was dead until she fell, without much ceremony, off her throne.

It was when he turned around he noticed the thing in the far corner of the room. He had never seen anything so 'un-Wraith' in his Stargate career.

"Sheppard here. The Queen is dead, and I'm fairly certain all the Wraith are as well. Elizabeth, there is something else. I got some kind of.. I don't know what the hell it is. Maybe a space probe or something."

"John? What is it?"

"I just said I don't know. It certainly isn't Wraith tech, unless they've gone for a seriously different new look. It's about 5 feet high, black and silver, sort of round, but wider at the bottom. It has little semi-circle all over it and three... lights – maybe - on the top."

He flicked an extension and rotated it three hundred and sixty degrees.

"It's got a couple of extensions coming out from near the top. One's kinda like a plunger, the other could be a weapon, maybe not. Whatever it is, it seems lifeless."

"Could it have killed the Wraith?"

Sheppard jumped back and raised his weapon. He moved slowly around the metallic thing.

"It's not showing any damage and seems lifeless, so I don't think so. More likely the reason for the war, if you want my opinion."

"I'll send another jumper over and we can have a look at it. Pick up a corpse too."

"Super.", said Sheppard, sitting on the throne to wait for Carson.


	2. Chapter 2

Tayla picked up the amber from Dr Weir's desk

Tayla picked up the amber from Dr Weir's desk. She peered into it.

"On my world we once thought this was how life began, but we learned it was not the beginning of a life, it was the end. It remains beautiful, though."

Weir nodded, watching the other woman replace the stone.

"I've had it for years."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and leant back in her chair. The twenty three survivors from the Wraith ship were recovering well, but had no idea what the probe was.

The intercom beeped and the air was filled by Dr Beckett's soft Scottish voice.

"Dr Weir, could you come to the infirmary please?"

Sheppard was also on the way to the infirmary when he bumped into Zelinka and McKay jabbering excitedly at each other. They stopped in front of him and were gurning with excitement. Sheppard thought they only needed one more for a set of brainiac Stooges and resisted poking McKay in the eye.

"What's up?" He asked, hoping he would understand the answer.

"We can't probe the, er, probe!" exclaimed McKay.

"And this makes you happy, because…?"

McKay closed his eyes and began to explain very slowly, using his hand for emphasis.

"It means it's not known to our, or even the Ancient's, science! We tried everything, infrared, ultraviolet, some stuff that would make your nose bleed if I tried to explain it and nothing! When, and I mean when, we open the probe, it is bound to have lots and lots of super new technology that could help us against our sundry and varied enemies."

"You're sure you can open it?"

"Well, we haven't yet, but I'm sure we, or rather I, will be able to shortly."

"Rodney won't let me use the blowtorch." said Zelinka sadly, cleaning his glasses.

McKay sighed.

"Forgive me, Radek, for wanting to use a little finesse in opening the thing so we don't damage the massively important – no doubt – technology within!"

"So this is like, I don't know, a technology piñata?", said Sheppard.

The scientist rubbed his eyes, feeling his excitement ebb in the face of such obtuseness.

"Yes, yes. That is exactly what it is. It's a technological piñata, with lots of super surprises inside."

Dr Carson Beckett looked at Rodney, Elizabeth and John as they peered at the Wraith corpse on the table. Aware of the sensibilities of the people gathered, a white sheet covered the body.

"I apologize in advance for this." He removed the sheet.

"What am I looking at?" said Sheppard peering and trying to make a pattern in the pink and grey mess.

McKay peered over, feeling himself go a little pale at the smell and the sight.

"It just looks like a kind of brawn. My mother made brawn." He trailed off.

"Exactly!" Said the Doctor. "When I opened it up, I found the entire internal structures have been completely scrambled."

"Who do we know who has weapons can do that?"

Sheppard shrugged.

"I don't know Elizabeth, I don't do autopsies in the middle of battle."

"I've not seen anything like this. This has never happened to any of our fallen, I'm certain." The doctor covered up the corpse.

McKay moved forward a little.

"I'll have a look at the database and send a message to Thor, see if he knows anything that can do this, or if he recognizes the probe."

"Good idea Rodney," said Elizabeth. "Send the information to Stargate Command too, see if anything from our galaxy could do it or knows anything about what we found."

"Pass me the blowtorch."

Zelinka very carefully said nothing has he passed the equipment to Rodney. Nothing subtle had worked and now they must attempt a little brute force. If this worked, then he would say something. Oh yes, thought the Czech, something would be said.

McKay flicked the protective visor down and after 30 minutes, turned off the gas and threw down the torch.

"Not a scratch." He put his hand closer and closer to the metal until he risked a quick dab of a finger tip.

"It's barely warm." He rubbed his face. What else was there? Acid? I suppose I could try it along the base, but it would have to be a viciously strong acid and the fumes could damage any delicate machinery within. It must be a last resort, thought Rodney.

"We could try acid next." Suggested Zelinka.

Rodney was looking at his bedroom ceiling thinking of ways to break an unbreakable nut, when the intercom chirped by his bed. He ignored it once.

"What?" he barked.

A member of the night crew spoke;

"Something is downloading our... Correction! Something has downloaded our entire database, sir."

"What all of it? Already?

"Yes sir, I called you the moment I detected it and that was less than 2 minutes ago, sir."

"I'll be right there."

Weir wearily put down the coffee on her desk.

"Forgive my nightwear, Rodney, but you said it was super urgent."

Rodney, who was examining the far wall with all his might, coughed.

"Yes, our database was downloaded by someone or something a short time ago."

"Who? And how did they get past our computer security?"

"I don't know and I really don't know." He was glad to be looking at his trusty tablet which in no way was pink and fluffy. "But, if you wait a moment, I'll be able to tell you where they… " He paused to press a few buttons. He looked at Elizabeth, open eyed and open mouthed.

"Oh no."

"Rodney, tell me."

"I think our probe is probing."

McKay waved his useless tablet around the probe. Still nothing. The two armed Marines Elizabeth had insisted on for no reason he could see stood around looking bored and professional.

"What are you looking for?" He asked the probe. The probe did not reply.

"You getting anything?" asked Elizabeth over the radio.

"Still nothing."

"Was it looking for anything in particular?"

"Oh, how in Heaven's… " He paused, realizing Dr Weir was his superior. "I don't know, since it took the entire database."

He snapped his fingers three times.

"Wait. Wait a minute."

"Rodney?"

That was hardly a minute, thought McKay, bitterly.

"I think I can tell you in what order the probe downloaded information."

Rodney could hear the unformed question coming.

"If it took our defence information first, say, we could expect an attack, maybe. If it took our communication protocols first it may want to send a message. It's not going to be an exact science, but it may give us a clue."

The scientist's fingers danced over his tablet. After a few moments, he frowned.

"Elizabeth? The first few things it took where Astronomical Maps, Navigation subroutines and Historical Records."

"And that means?"

"I really don't know."


End file.
